Capitalism, love and breakups
Is love a commodity? Is love a deal? Is love a contract? Is love becoming a sorrowful quagmire in the age of capitalism? Is capitalism transforming a beautiful thing called love into an endless pain? Is capitalism a prime reason for most of the breakups and separations? Is capitalism transforming love into endless suffering and forcing individuals to lead independent and alienated lives devoid of love? Is the crude emphasis on competition rather than coordination and cooperation taking away the flavour of love? Is love, the mother of all emotions, turning into a master of all pain in the capitalist world? Is love, a glue that binds humanity and adds resplendence to the world around, going colourless? Is love a sweet enigma metamorphosing into a bitter pandora box? Is love, a world filled with magic, getting overwhelmed with tragics? Is love, a bright desire, going dark with unmatched and unrealistic expectations owing to the invisible forces? Has crude weightage given to materialism and individualism over human relations by neo-liberal economics, been deteriorating the valuable cord that binds two individuals together? Is the ruthless emphasis on consumerism, ownership of material things and self-interest overshadowing the compassion, love and affection that are vital for the survival of humanity? Are the innate features of neo-liberal economics degenerating collective, accommodative and communitarian spirit among the individuals? Are neo-liberal values denigrating the very values of an ideal society like interdependence and harmony that should exist among individuals?
Before delving into the aforementioned questions, it is essential to understand the fact that the prevailing economic structure that entire humanity is seated upon and its draconian elements that have been infiltrated into every walk of life, especially human emotions, are proving detrimental to human relationships. Moreover, it is apodictic to state that the capitalist system has posed a significant challenge to a very fundamental emotion of human life called love. On top of it, neo-liberal economics subdues diversity, one of the core aspects of human life. Contrary to popular perception, the neo-liberal empire dictates absolute conformity to homogeneity. On the one hand, theoretically, it calls for a free individual society; on the other hand, it encapsulates an individual in numerous invisible shackles. It is this dichotomy and innate juxtaposition that pushes an individual into a swamp of confusion and uncertainty. The commodification of not just material things but also emotions is what takes a toll on the psyche of humanity. Through the lens of neo-liberal economics, which views human connections are nothing but contracts and deals, it is the self-interest and competition of a group of individuals that forms the heart and soul of any society.
Toxicity in relationships
Undoubtedly, the penetration of neo-liberal aspects into personal and private life is cultivating misunderstandings and miscommunication between the partners. Ironically, given the presence of extensive and seamless communication networks or channels around, it may sound preposterous and irrational to state that there is a colossal communication gap between the partners. Yet, it is true. In the rat race of wealth accumulation and to reach societal standards, as determined and set by the neo-liberal empire, human emotions have been taking the backseat in the minds of individuals. While breeding toxicity in human relationships, especially between couples, the neo-liberal discourse that amalgamates individual-centric or self-centric discourse with a wealth-first approach is siphoning off the affection and love that binds them.
Unrealistic expectations
Ever since the birth of an individual, s/he is forced to lead a life as dictated by neo-liberal economics. This is an absolute contrast to the unique traits of an individual s/he was born or endowed with and the laws set by Nature. As a matter of fact, diversity and novelty is a fundamental rule of nature. Unwarranted and unrealistic expectations as designed and developed by society around, financial pressures, academic and professional responsibilities, time constraints, frustration owing to peer pressure, unavailability and insensitivity of partners complemented by unresolved issues and traumas an individual has grown up with have been widening the rift between the partners. At a time when one-time luxuries have become necessities, the aspiration to be successful and be recognised has been pushing individuals into more and more isolation. It is this turbulence on the part of an individual that is serving as a lubricant to run the capitalist engine.
It is a no-brainer to say that a healthy society fosters deep bonds and compassion among its individuals. Rather, the neo-liberal empire is showing the seeds of ego, grudge and jealousy ever since an individual starts understanding the surroundings. The core tenets of human life like peace, love and happiness are being replaced with ego, grudge and jealousy. Emotional distancing as well as distrust are propelling individuals towards loneliness and hopelessness. Excessive pride in one’s own achievements and self-esteem without sensibilities creates imbalance and asymmetry in the relationships.
A change in priorities
It is seen among many young couples and love birds that the deep sense of belonging, connection, intimacy and love they develop while falling and during the initial stages of love or romantic relationships are fading away as time passes by. A dramatic and drastic change in priorities in addition to unwarranted comparisons have been taking a toll on the love that brews between the two hearts. In an environment filled with competition and a ruthless quest for success, tendering an apology for wrongdoing is viewed as self-defeating rather than as a pointer for self-correction and being empathetic towards another’s feelings.
The author is of the view that if one hasn’t fallen in love at least once in his/her lifetime and experienced the volatility and the sweetness embodied in it, s/he doesn’t know the depth of human emotions. Nobody denies the truth that love is a complex web that incorporates dichotomies, insecurities and a range of joyful feelings it. While love in itself is a volatile roller-coaster ride, the challenges that are being posed by the prevailing economic discourse are making it much more turbulent, leaving many hearts breathless and bruised. While it doesn’t take much time for two hearts to fall in love with each other, the separation takes a lot of time for s/he to heal, sometimes, it doesn’t. The fear of heartbreak is forcing many individuals to lead isolated and alienated lives. It is understandable that it only takes two pure hearts, devoid of expectations, to fall in love. However, as love gets older, the tentacles of neo-liberal economics are tweaking and altering it to the core, thereby, forcing love to lose its purest form and making it vulnerable for subsequent challenges. As a result, the love that brews between two hearts is losing its flavour, fragrance, beauty and innocence and is being overshadowed by complaints and hesitation.
Love, not a commodity
Predominance and opportunism, core features of neoliberalism, are leaving a deep influence on the behaviour and character of an individual in particular and the society as a whole. The pursuit of material happiness at the cost of other’s feelings and emotions is ruining the very essence of human relationships. Self-respect is turning into chauvinism and hostility. Individuals are failing to chalk out the wafer-thin difference between self-confidence and aggression. Though one may discard or omit that all these things are individual behavioural aspects and depend on upbringing and the environment in which individuals are nurtured, it is important not to deny the importance of the economic structure the modern world is lying on. In the age where human relationships are seen purely as economic connections, it is wise to understand that love isn’t a commodity that is ready-made to be available in the marketplace.
There is no greater challenge to an element called love in today’s world than the tweaked and market-driven economic structure. It requires a great deal of effort on the part of an individual and the society as a whole to address the stumbling blocks in the domain of human relationships to revive and rebuild the society based on the principles of co-existence, harmony and peace.
Samudrala VK
Author is Director at Samudrala VK IAS academy. He is a Columnist on International Affairs and Trade.
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